What A Country. What A World. Here Comes Santy Claus. Impeaching the President, bombing Iraq, heading into Christmas, world economy in the hopper, Wall Street booming, cloning humans, everybody's having affairs, Pinochet is getting off, global warming is at an all-time high... and everything is going along fine. The newspapers and airwaves are full of expensive advertising. The major automobile manufacturers are planning bigger and better cars and a lot more of them. The agenda of Congress next year is daunting to say the least: Social Security bail out, educational infrastructure funding, roads and bridges program to rival the WPA days, and remember we are running the government these days with a surplus. FY2000 is projected to have a surplus much bigger than this year's. The human race is an amazing spectacle. It's like a large catepillar: the front is moving out and by the time the back catches up, the front and the back have no idea what the other is doing. But, hey, we're all moving along together... sort of. Here's a few fun things to start the weekend off right: Reported in The New York Times: The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons recently, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits. Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed. You know you've been online too much when... Your start introducing yourself as 'bp@legendinc.com.' You laugh at people with 2400 modems. You start tilting your head sideways to smile :-). A Few Quotes To Close... Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? -- George Carlin You have to stay in shape these days. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and now we don't know where the hell she is. -- Ellen DeGeneri The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. -- Jackie Gleason |