The best things in life aren’t things.
Lead me not into temptation; I can find it myself.
Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.
Warning: dates on your calendar are closer than they appear to be.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Don’t come knocking if the car is rocking.
I Brake For No Apparent Reason.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep.
If it’s too loud, you’re too old.
Just when you think you’ve won the rat race along come faster rats.
My other husband is handsome.
Beer isn’t just for breakfast any more.
I is a college student.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Democrats make plans and then do something else.
Republicans follow the plans their grandfathers made.
VOTE REPUBLICAN — IT’S EASIER THAN THINKING !!!
No job is so simple that it can’t be done wrong.
You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.
Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
We’re All Dysfunctional — Get Over It!
D.A.R.E. Dare To Keep Cops Off Donuts!
(Donut Abuse & Rotundity Elimination)