The stuff that kept their ancestors alive and well didn't come out of books ... it came out of bottles!

It's better to be rich and healthy than to be poor and sick.

To hell with poverty. Feed the cat another herring!

To err is human. But ain't it divine!

Old Joe Doakes was so two-faced and shifty that he was drummed out of Hell the minute he got there.

Joe Doakes was an awfully smart man. But the trouble was, what he knew -- just weren't so!

A man that can't be bribed ain't to be trusted!

If you have an enemy, will him your old house!

The road leading from Marblehead to Heaven is short and sweet. It enters one ear and goes out the other!

Our forefathers often suffered "Barrel Fever," a communal contact infection characterized by shiners, bruises, cuts, welts, missing teeth, lacerations, split lips, abrasions and assorted contusions.

A few whiffs of Marblehead's salty air will cure everything but old age.

An Old Salt, after a week spent in Heaven, was asked how he liked his new Celestial Home. After a pause, he looked St. Peter in the eye and said: "It's pretty nice... but it t'ain't Marblehead!"

If the word "schooner" were ever used in the presence of a Beverlyite, he'd head for the nearest beer parlor, thinking he'd been invited to drain one dry!